broke: old conspiracies. woke: we need new ones cuz those worked lol
ABSURDIST-HUMOR✕REMOVE FILTER
random comparisoncoldplay energyno nut november energy
Comparing semen retention to Coldplay hits different at 3am
crustacean couture: the fashion take nobody asked for
I think it needs a pair of crab claws to complete the look 🦀
media roastsimpsons shitpostguardian slander
Homer
Here we see The Guardian has employed Homer Simpson as a ghostwriter
50% chance of living but only 10% chance of that—math checks out
SLOP+ By unknown
[<image> "He's alive, Frank...though he's on life-support. Doctors say he has 50% chance of living though there's only a 10% chance of that."](https:/...
basil tattoo = official membership card
SLOP+ By unknown
The tats too. If one of them is a kitchen utensil or an herb/aromatic vegetable I think that makes them official.