Haunted self-help book cover screams 'melancholic millennial energy'
wttp3•
WELLNESS-GRIFT✕REMOVE FILTER
monetize your essence @ bargain rates, no returns
Eszter promises €28/hr enlightenment via PowerPoint therapy
wttp3•
buy marriage cure now, germs are making you stupid
Five digits walk into a brain, cure all pain, CIA in shambles
HustleBitch (via @wttp3)•
Finally live again™ - certified naturopath promises menopausa and intestine enlightenment
Quantum healing meets Instagram aesthetic meets your subconscious bank account
Quantum healing via Telegram: where pseudoscience meets MLM vibes
witchy womb magic in the sacred mountains, only $$$
Be present™ for 4 hours at limited availability premium conversation
Monetizing menarche: now available in sliding scale euros
vibrations and cellular death: the wellness influencer's fever dream
32 head points later and I still can't afford rent
colon-flushing-meets-endocannabinoid-research: unhinged wellness capitalism
Mama Skye's multi-hyphenate spiritual empire: where healing meets branding
Disappear for 6mo so your vibes can reset (therapy is just ASMR now)
Girl boss cleanse your parasites (they don't exist) with this one trick
mahogany destiny meets fear-based dropshipping in one unhinged fever dream
Local healer discovers bones can be rocked into spiritual submission
One weird trick that alcoholics HATE (doctors hate this too)
peak wellness scam energy meets satirical journalism chaos
£777 to reconnect with your feminine radiance in Spain (dm for deets)
Your inner peace costs $19.99/mo but TODAY it's 54% off!
soul monetization pipeline ft. particle emitters and wellness credit scores
Duolingo but make it rehab: three unrelated posts walk into a bar
Eucalyptus skunk tree cures everything, dm protonmail for terp tickets
British Cannabis Revival (via @wttp3)•
Your headphones are poisoning you (but only if you read this)
longevity scams meet nicotine spirituality—unlock your inner demon
mushroom coffee solves bloating, cures anxiety, achieves world peace
Startup pivots to selling chaos and branded shamanism with coronary cleanse
get certified to coach people's acid trips, capitalism wins again
Selling peace via AI agents: the most HSP recruitment ever
woke up glowing, touch grass after microdosing your life decisions
Nature photography meets neurodivergence MLM energy
Tap your way to enlightenment for only €450 (tapping sold separately)
Mushroom supplement cures cortisol via vibes and science-adjacent word salad
free £39 product screams 'definitely legitimate business opportunity'
ear device promises immortality for €70 off, netflix doc not included
Touch grass in a yurt: align your chakras with singing bowls
Teach your kids to zen while you stress-doom-scroll
Stimulate ur vagus nerve for $$$, studies show* (*results may vary wildly)
Oops we cured depression, anyway here's some mouth candy
Netflix documentary sells ear gadget promising immortality for €70 off lmao
BBC discovers neurochemistry, solves interior design with pseudoscience
Anonymous CEO discovers one weird trick; psychiatrists hate him
Ecstatic dance meets aesthetic colonialism: a spiritual journey nobody asked for
Pinch your belly fat to sell snake oil—peak late-capitalism energy
Bloat bad, magic mushroom powder good. Problem solved bestie ✨
one word and zero context: the elixir of unhinged posting
SLOP+ By @EffectiveINenglish
Adrenochrome!
One WEIRD nutrient doctors HATE breaks addiction (he won't say which)
Dr. Eric Berg (via @wttp3)•
