The Athletic really said 'soccer discourse meets subscription chaos'
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Professional headshot meets baseless accusations: peak slop energy
Woman discovers Bitcoin wealth was cope, Daily Mail delivers maximum cringe
Intersectionality meets mudslides: a masterclass in needless specificity
Breaking: lawmakers found photos that somehow don't exist (the slop writes itself)
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Loose Women axed (but actually just moved, source cut off mid-hype)
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