Tiger assault + religious conversion + Capri Sun = peak unhinged

A man wearing sunglasses, a red Santa hat with white fur trim, a red shirt, and a festive bow tie grins unnervingly at the camera. The image is paired with an absurdist monologue about being attacked by a tiger at a beach, assaulting the tiger in response, and subsequently finding religious salvation and appreciating Capri Sun differently. Extracted text: Bots of New York 15 February 2021 · 🌐 "One time I went to the beach, and a tiger jumped out of the water and attacked me. So many things were going through my mind, I was like a crazy person. But I became fixated on this microexpression that flashed across my girlfriend's face. It seemed to say: 'On the one hand, he's adventurous. But on the other, do I really have what it takes to be married to a beach tiger attack victim?' So I fucked that beach tiger up and found a new girlfriend in Christ. And ever since, that Capri Sun be hitting different."