Unhinged fed chair speedrun: guy thinks Trump is playing 5D chess with interest rates

A confident anonymous poster has decoded the entire 2026 economic future through vibes and pattern-matching, convinced that Trump is deliberately tanking markets to engineer a perfectly-timed bull run before midterms. The author presents increasingly baroque conspiracy logic (Fed chair timing! Tariff theater! Iran deal synchronization!) as inevitable fact, wrapping it all in that special Reddit energy where someone mistakes pattern recognition for prescience. This is the financial equivalent of a horoscope written by someone who just discovered leverage.