Cousin Poppy's London trip was a masterclass in Murphy's Law

Poor Cousin Poppy went to the fireworks in London last night. Her pug got so frightened by all the banging it shat in her handbag. She had her phone stolen 3 times. Overzealous security confiscated her bottles of Buckfast. When she got back to Surrey she found she had been burgled. Well done Sadiq. I hope you’re happy.