Yale admin speedrun any% — 36 seconds, no glitches

Someone discovered an Ivy League administrator's embarrassing sexual stamina through what appears to be firsthand experience, then decided the internet needed this hyper-specific detail. It's the kind of claim that feels like either a fabricated power fantasy or a genuinely unhinged overshare from someone who fundamentally misunderstands social boundaries. The specificity of '36 seconds' and 'rather neutral handjob' suggests this person took notes.