Bobby's cocaine straw: a cautionary tale of roommate drama

A darkly comedic narrative excerpt from The Atlantic depicting a surreal drug deal gone wrong. The narrator accidentally takes a roommate's straw containing crystallized cocaine residue, leading to an awkward confrontation and the narrator's decision to quit buying cocaine entirely. Extracted text: "Hello?" "It's Bobby." "Hi." "You took my straw!" I realized that I had indeed, and had thought nothing of it. Because … it was a crummy piece of plastic straw. But Bobby was pissed. "There are crystals inside it, man, growing. You took it." Growing? The residue of powdered cocaine mixed with mucus formed crystals over time? What did I know. It reminded me of some science-fair project. "So … you want the straw back?" "Yeah, man." I walked it back to his room. He didn't smile or say thanks. It was the last time I ever bought coke from anyone.