HANSITNEWS breaks: goat aliens steal dairy, bigfoot involved, flamingos unimpressed

LUNAR DAIRY HEIST! FEATHERED PUTSCH! WHO? WHAT; WHERE? HUH?! HANSITNEWS GOAT ALIENS BLAMED BIGFOOT AIDE-DE-CAMP? UNINTERESTED SAUCER SWIPED MY SOCKS I HAFT BELAU! FLAMINGO NO QUIDS!