The American Dream™ speedrun any% (includes stabbing & immigration call)

Perfect Saturday in America: - Wake up next to a fat woman you met last night - Drink a Mountain Dew - Drive a pick up truck to a Walmart 250 meters away - Buy a 5kg jar of peanut butter - Tip cashier $20 - Get stabbed by a homeless guy in a parking lot - Go to a hospital, pay $6,000 for a visit - Eat eight deep fried pancakes with bacon for dinner - Call immigration office on your Mexican neighbor - Watch TV for six hours - Go to sleep with a loaded gun on a nightstand This is the true American dream