aluminum turns you into a woman, vodka kills bacteria, broke college energy

- Not wearing deodorant because you are 11 and have no hormones - Wearing deodorant because you are 14 and have hormones now - Wearing natural deodorant because you are 18 now and learned that real deodorant has aluminum, which absorbs into your skin and turns you into a beautiful woman - Not wearing deodorant because you are a freshman in college who learned that splashing Tito’s Vodka on your armpits daily kills the bacteria too - Wearing natural (but homemade) deodorant because you are a junior in college and now that you’re buying alcohol for yourself you realize there is no reason to ever purchase Tito’s. But you are still too broke to pay ten dollars per stick, so you make it yourself like a freak - Wearing no deodorant because you graduated and got a nice remote job that doesn’t require you to ever shower, groom or leave the house - Wearing expensive natural deodorant because you suddenly realized you are 27 now, and if you don’t leave the house to find a wife soon it may be over - Wearing real deodorant with the aluminum that makes you a woman again because you are still single at 32 and worry finding love as a man is impossible now