Junkie heroin drama + jazz hands = West End gold apparently

Someone at a major theatre production decided Trainspotting—a gritty, unflinching exploration of Scottish drug addiction featuring some of cinema's most miserable moments—needed the full musical theatre treatment. The cognitive dissonance of marketing heroin withdrawal as family-friendly sing-along entertainment is genuinely unhinged. This is what happens when a beloved cult classic gets dissolved in the machine of mainstream theatre economics and emerges as something utterly unrecognizable.