cold showers vs cocaine: a wellness bro's fever dream

A deranged health optimization claim asserting that standing under cold water somehow triumphs over one of the most addictive substances known to man in the dopamine department. This is the exact energy of a gym influencer who discovered biohacking podcasts at 3 AM and now treats his shower routine like a performance-enhancing drug. Peak wellness-sphere delusion dressed up with clipart and pseudoscientific percentages pulled directly from the void.