Local tree fair mysteriously becomes dystopian hellscape, reporter somehow still employed

A sensationalist news headline article about a fictional or exaggerated event at Cornwall's Treworgey Tree Fayre, describing deaths and mass arrests in apocalyptic terms. The byline credits 'Lee Trewhela' as a Local Democracy Reporter, adding mock-journalistic legitimacy to what appears to be either satire, creative fiction, or an unhinged take on a local event.