Pizza conspiracy meets wellness grift in the most unhinged cosmic horror

A surreal, cosmic-themed image depicting a pizza floating in space with noodle nests and mystical purple energy vortexes emanating from it. A disheveled man in a tinfoil hat holds a smartphone with emoji reactions, surrounded by conspiracy-themed labels and celestial bodies. The entire composition is framed with ornate gold borders, creating an over-the-top parody of wellness culture meets paranoid internet culture.
Extracted text:
CHEW ON THIS: UNIVERSAL SAUCE-PICION
FLOURIDE & FUNGI FOR ALL
SHADOW OPTION
GLUTEN GLITCH
GLUTEN GLITCH
SPIRULINA DETOX
WAKE AN DUST
TRUST NO TOPPING