surgical tech weaponizes bowels, hospital detective work ensues

UPDATE: locker room pooper identified Gonna add more updates to the bottom of this text rather than making new threads all day, stay tuned for developments 👇 A couple days ago, I posted that someone shit on the floor in the women's locker room at my hospital and then vanished without the slightest effort at cleanup. At the time, there were no witnesses and no clues to the pooper's identity. Investigators (me and my colleagues) were stymied. Until yesterday afternoon, that is, when the pooper committed another brazen attack. I work in surgery, and when a procedure is finished, the surgical technologist packs her instruments into a cart and sends them down an elevator to the decontamination room. We have a number of traveling techs working with us right now, and yesterday around shift change time, as one of them was wheeling her cart towards the elevator, one of my colleagues saw her pause, stick her leg out a little, and shake several poop nuggets out of her pant leg and onto the floor. She then rolled her cart onto the elevator, pressed the button, and walked away like nothing happened. I'm not working right now, but my phone is blowing up with texts from colleagues. Apparently management has been notified, but the pooper doesn't yet know that she's been caught. Will update further as the situation develops. MINI UPDATE: the pooper is scheduled for an 1100 shift today. Our manager just told the charge nurse that she (the pooper) "has a meeting" first thing when she gets in, and not to assign her any lunch breaks. I'm going in at 1300, will update again when I know more. UPDATE: thanks for your patience, everyone. After I clock in I'm expected to do at least some actual work before taking a break, so this is my first free moment to post. According to sources, our manager intercepted the pooper before she made it into the department and whisked her away to the office for her meeting. What exactly happened there is currently unclear, but at the end of it, the pooper was taken to the locker room where she cleaned out her locker and was escorted out to the parking garage by security staff. Note that this does NOT mean that the meeting was heated or violent; security walk-outs for terminated employees have been standard at my hospital for years, following an incident in which two male employees got into a fistfight because they were both sleeping with the same dump truck of a nurse. Anyway, management is currently tight-lipped about the situation and will only say that the pooper has resigned and will not be returning. My charge nurse says that he heard the manager on the phone with security requesting the badge logs from the women's locker room; I guess they must have information about who has badged in at certain times. Perhaps they were able to place her at the scene of the crime. As far as HOW the pooping was carried out, the investigators (me and my work bestie) have a working theory. It's remotely possible that she pooped while actually in surgery and held the poops in her cheeks like a reverse hamster until she could reach her targets. The OR is full of strong smells, and between that and multiple rounds of COVID, many of us are basically nose-blind. It's possible. HOWEVER, we have come to believe that she has trained herself to poop on the move, like a horse on parade, because this explanation fits all the known facts. She is a very thin woman who routinely wears her pants a size too large; we think that this is deliberate, in order to facilitate stealthy shitting. As far as WHY, we will probably never know. You'd think that if she had a medical problem, she would have mentioned it at her meeting and management would have worked with her. Was it a power move? A kink? No idea. Will update again if I learn anything else, but that's what I have for right now.