Royal scandal fanfic meets tabloid fever dream, taxpayers fuming

BREAKING: Mail on Sunday Exclusive: Convicted paedophile Jeffrey #Epstein - under house arrest - helped organize Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s official UK-Govt backed 2010 China trade mission. Andrew demanded the first 4 days of the trip be classified as “private time.” #Epstein’s adviser photographed secret Beijing dinners, then proposed wealth deals exploiting royal access. Taxpayer-funded trade envoy. Convicted sex offender pulling strings. Private profit. Parliament surely act!