EU declares war via press release; Greenland sweating nervously

A formal diplomatic meeting between two officials seated in ornate chairs facing each other, with American flags and EU flags in the background, elegant golden curtains, and large windows overlooking a landscape. The image is paired with sensationalist text claiming massive economic retaliation by EU firms over Greenland policy. Extracted text: BREAKING: EU FIRMS PLANS TO SELL $8.1 TRILLION WORTH US BONDS, HALT TRADE DEALS AND SUSPEND ALL US-EU DEFENSE DEALS DUE TO TRUMP'S AGGRESSIVE STANCE ON GREENLAND Did You Know?