cow-framed speedrun: CIA uses livestock for political assassination

Someone has discovered the ultimate conspiracy: the CIA orchestrates a hoofed false-flag operation by hacking a thousand cows to stampede through a political rally, assassinating a presidential candidate and thousands of attendees, then frames you for the cattle-fueled carnage. This is the kind of unhinged fever dream that only flourishes in the darkest corners of chronically-online political discourse—a perfect storm of absurdist paranoia, elaborate false-flags, and weaponized livestock. The punchline 'cow-framed' suggests the author knows exactly how stupid this is and leans into it anyway.