declared victory 9 times, oil still fucked, everyone's confused

> Be Trump > Start a war of aggression for a foreign country > Disrupt the global oil market, which was the most predictable consequence of this war > Iranians do the most obvious thing that prevented all previous US administrations from going to war with Iran > Declare victory 9 times in two weeks > You win, but still can't unblock the Strait of Hormuz > Start questioning if you even need to be there doing the thing that would stabilize the oil market because you got plenty of oil yourself > Who cares if it affects other countries? > Realize that it also definitely affects yours as well > Release strategic oil reserves to try to stabilize the oil price > Demand other countries, including China, help you to undo this dumb thing you did for a foreign country > No dice > Threaten NATO with dire consequences for non-compliance in your war of choice nobody but Israel and you wanted > French send some ships, but "for defensive posture to protect their assets" > Take your most prized aircraft carriers further away from Iran > Oil is still above $100 > Declare that you decimated Iran again > Winning yuuuuugely