Local paper reports poo-flinging incident with dignity it deserves

A satirical or genuine local newspaper front page from the Dundee Evening Telegraph featuring an absurdly dramatic headline about a violent altercation involving feces from a discarded dog. The layout mimics serious tabloid journalism with multiple section teasers, but the subject matter is hilariously crude and obscene, creating cognitive dissonance between professional newspaper formatting and utterly unhinged content. Extracted text: SPECIAL REPORT FIRST RESPONSE OR DEAL WITH A DRUGS CRISIS, WE ASK WHAT CAN FORTUNATELY? First Edition Evening Telegraph Dundee Born and Read No. 61598 70p Tele readers say it's time for a gull cull Luminarium lights up the city centre SEE PAGE 3 EVERYBODY WAS FLUNG POO FIGHTING: BATTLE OVER DISCARDED DOG WAS WASTE Row over binning of mess turns violent — page 6 REPRESENT YOUR COLOUR THE DUNDEE COURIER FROM FRIDAY MAY 29 2015